Sunday, October 29, 2006

Kenny says it better then I can.

Every now and then I get a little lost
My strings all get tangled, my wires all get crossed
Every now and then I'm right up on the edge
Dangling my toes out over the ledge

I have been known to get frazzled from time to time, usually by being extra stressed about something. Whether it be social strain or too much work, I can't seem to stop myself from getting frazzled. I keep being told about how little the things that I am crying about really are, and I think I know that, but I get into this generalities mode and therefore generalize things to bigger then just the specific activity. That, or I the real thing that is bothering is completely different from what set me off. When I am like this, I am like a trigger ready to be set off. Crying is like therpy, I feel better afterwards - I can focus better afterwards (once I stop crying) - things get better.

I know that I should look on the positive side of things, but I am addicted to this and I don't know how to stop. Call it a current charater flaw. I am not sure of any practical steps to take to lean the correct direction. Just stopping is definitely not working. It seems to just cause me to stress out even more. I just need to lean that direction.

I know that one day, something will happen that I really cry about. And that scares me more than anything. I don't think about that and instead focus on the present, for that is all that we really can do.

I know that I will look back and see that I have now more then I think that I do. And maybe I will look back and think that I can actually talk better then I think that I can. Verbally write better then I think that I can.

I think I can, I think I can. And he could. As can I. But why do I keep thinking about just letting it slip? I am not a quiter.

I've been looking for something
Something I've never seen
We're all looking for something
Something to be

Horizontal Rule


Horizontal Rule
Horizontal Rule